I had just left my husband of 16 years. I was alone in my small apartment getting ready for work. Half listening to the Today show, I remember the host joking with some guest then commerical. Katie Curic comming back on saying they were going to the WTC. Then a shot. I just thought it was a commuter plane that had crashed. Knowing this was news worthy I called my mother. She wasn’t awake yet, called my Dad at work & told him to turn on channel 11. My mother woke up, called me, took the call & told her to turn on the TV. Called my Dad back & was discussing what was on TV then the other plane hit. All I could say was “something’s going on”, “something’s not right”. I have never felt so alone.

I want so much to call my husband, but I knew I couldn’t. I wanted to be around someone so I finished getting ready to go to work. I brought my 13″ TV with me because I had to find out what was going on. When I left my apartment I saw the home nurse for my wheelchair bound landlord who lived across the street from me. I asked her if she had heard about what was going on. I told her what I knew, but without seeing the images yet, I’m sure she felt I was overacting. My friend & co-worker arrived shortly after I did & had not heard anything yet. I called some of my other friends in the museum & they came & watched my TV. Could not believe when the Pentagon shot came on. I work in an art museum in Baltimore. Then heard about planes lost on radar around Washington, we in a panic.

My museum is directly next to a large monument. Actually thought someone might want to take this meaningless monument out. Silly now, but I was watching real things on TV that I never could have imagined. The director of the museum heard that I had a TV & called to tell me to bring it over to his office. Was a bit put off by that but my surrounding friends decided that we go where the TV goes. On the way over I saw a Women’s committee member in tears, trying to use the receptionist phone. I can’t remember if it was her husband or child she was trying to find. Word was being passed around about co-workers loved ones in NY or DC & if they were able to get in touch with then or not. We were in the director’s office when the towers came down. I have never felt so numb.

At 1st I was angry that some nut would mar the phycial makeup of out cities. Hours later, having watched the towers fall for the 100th time I realized the magnitude of all of the humans lost. The towers then became flesh & blood to me. I then took my TV to a staff area of the museum & people began filtering in. I think that’s when I 1st heard about Rene. She was a docent at the museum, one of the youngest if not the youngest. She represented the new hope of younger people taking over for our shrinking docent pool. I didn’t know she was a flight attendent. I only knew her from saying hi to her with an accepting proud nod when I saw her at work & marveled at her excitement about the art.Later that day we found out she was on the plane that went into the Pentagon. I left at around 3 leaving the TV for others. Wanted to run home, home to my husband, but I went home alone to my cats. Sat for hours watching the TV.Called all the friends I could think of to see if they heard from loved ones that I knew lived in DC or NY. I heard from my dear friend in CA. I cried for the 1st time when I talked to him. Didn’t listen to radio music until days later. When I did I had to stop because the station I listened to was from DC & they were giving all the traffic detours around the Pentagon. At night when planes started flying again, the sound of the planes would wake me up & was really honestly scared. I soon could tell the differance between a passenger jet & a military one.