You can’t imagine how many times I’ve log on this site to write my thoughts, only to become emotional and disconnecting from the Internet. I will attempt this again. It was a beautiful September morn as I proceeded with the daily routine of preparing for work. As always, I had Good Day NY on TV and was watching a story by Dick Oliver on location downtown Manhattan when there was a loud boom that even Dick Oliver commented, “What the hell was that?” Then a crew was at the Trade Center where the 1st plane struck. Figuring there was a failure in its guiding system, I called my husband (who works for the Port Authority), got no answer, but I left a message commenting this “wrong turn”.

I sat there watching when the 2nd plane hit. Then I froze, realizing this was not faulty equipment. Then the thoughts —- where was my husband? They had just moved into a new bldg. in Jersey City so the phone system was not working properly. The only way of contacting him was his cell — but he was not answering. I became frantic —there were occasions when he had to go to the WTC since the PA’s offices were there. Was he there today? Why wasn’t he answering? Then my next thought — my only child–and son–just turned 18 years old, just recently registered for Selective Services as it was mandatory, and he will not be in school until January of the following year. Will my son be sent to war, if that was happening? Am I losing my whole family? Finally my husband called — he was still in Jersey City. He and his co-workers were on the roof of the bldg., not believing what was happening. I woke up my son, who promptly dressed and raced down to the 69th Street Pier to see for himself. I could not pull away from the TV, called my job, saying I’ll be in soon.

I finally walked out of the house after the 2nd tower collapsed, made it up to one block (I don’t even know how I even walked), turned around and went home. I could not leave. People’s lives were lost & we don’t know what happened. I was so angry, angry with what happened and myself for being so helpless — and selfish. I put out the American flag –at half mast — and there it remained a year later, tattered and torn and worn. After the one year anniversary, I will retire the old flag and put up a new one to signify a new beginning for America and its people. LONG MAY IT WAVE!